When the inflation bubble visited the Canberra bubble in the form of Philip 'Keeping Interest Rates' Lowe's Estimates stint

Jul 04, 2023

Much as old-time shipping nerds once were wont to cross the globe to see the Queen Elizabeth and Queen Mary liners berthed next to each other, bubble-ologists were excited this week to see the Inflation Bubble visit the Canberra Bubble in the form of Reserve Bank Governor Philip "Keeping Interest Rates" Lowe's appearance at Senate Estimates.

Dr Lowe was in a "glass half full" mood, explaining to Estimates that higher interest rates would actually help the rental crisis by forcing people to "economise" on housing by not moving out of home, or by taking in a flatmate.

And look, technically he may be right, but I predict many passive aggressive notes printed out in Comic Sans by share house occupants and stuck to Dr Lowe's toaster. (A line written, let's be honest, to excuse this Bored Panda post).

Perhaps it was no accident that Philip Lowe used his Senate Estimates appearance to give the political class some advice about the need to rethink how Australia fights inflation, even if he knew his words would likely fall on deaf ears.

While we're digressing, the remarks had a strong fragrance of Joe Hockey's 2015 advice to aspiring homeowners: Get a good job.

Ironically, 2015 Joe Hockey was at the time presciently following the advice of 2023 Philip Lowe, by renting out rooms to colleagues in his Canberra investment property. Where Brendan Nelson lived in the shed, and Mr Hockey slept in a bed under a Bart Simpson doona cover but yeah, I'm getting off the track.

Dr Lowe also crushed the dreams of shadow treasurer Angus Taylor by saying: "I don't think that the budget is adding to inflation, it's actually reducing inflation."

But as Insiders host David Speers observes, half an hour after Dr Lowe had finished speaking, news broke from the ABS that inflation has risen to 6.8 per cent. The ASX cringed, while the Aussie dollar shrank in fright, and economists started muttering about more interest rate rises in the near future.

All of Wednesday's bad economic news is at least good for shadow treasurers – right? Mmmm.

Angus Taylor found himself in Question Time, ball in hand, in the goal square, dead in front of the sticks, and somehow banana-ed the thing horrifically into the stands.

Here's what happened. Mr Taylor demanded hotly of the Prime Minister when he would take personal responsibility for the fact that "in the last month alone, the price of Vegemite has increased by 8 per cent, peanut butter by 9 per cent, and yoghurt by 12 per cent".

This Venezuelan-sized increase to the cost of living would of course be very upsetting, if true, as a monthly inflation rate of 8 per cent would cause a $9 family jar of the black gold at Woolies to $22.66 by this time next year.

It turns out that Mr Taylor was confusing monthly with yearly inflation.

Mr Taylor's personal commitment to being not-very-good with numbers stretches back to his days as energy minister, in which role he royally roasted Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore for her outrageously high annual expenditure figure on air travel, that was made up.

And while we're enjoying Funniest Home Angus Taylor Videos, let's not deprive ourselves of the time he posted an announcement to Facebook about 1,000 new car spots being approved for Campbelltown station, and then four hours later replied to himself, "Fantastic. Great move. Well done, Angus!" – giving voters a transfixing insight into what must be the Member for Hume's upbeat daily shaving-mirror pep talk.

Oh well, at least people got car parks, right? Ah… maybe ixnay on the arparkcay…

One assumes that Mr Taylor will now face the same fate Julie Bishop did as shadow treasurer in 2008 when she flubbed a question on interest rates and was thereafter undermined and white-anted by colleagues as an economic lightweight until she eventually left the portfolio.

Or maybe different rules apply here? Stay tuned.

So, it turns out that the nation's most hysterically-applauded state premier of all time, WA's Mark McGowan, has had enough.

Rejoicing in the truly creepy nickname "State Daddy", Mr McGowan sailed through COVID with strong local reviews but now is quitting, he announced this week to gasps.

Siri, show me: Power Vacuum!

Not for long, though. The title of State Mum's New Boyfriend goes to one-time political staffer and PR flack Roger Cook.

New jobs for Mr McGowan? Sandgropers had ideas. And let's not say goodbye before enjoying once more that time when Daddy got the giggles when talking about kebabs.